Fighting Fear

Oh, LORD you are great sending reminders! Thank you for my friends and family that remind me of your promises and your love! The enemy placed the seed of fear in my heart this morning because he knows that I have vowed to fight fear. Fear is a complete lack of FAITH and I am not willing to accept it anymore. You have promised me more than fear and I am ready to accept your abundance. In JESUS’ name I ask accept and pray. AMEN!

Settling = FEAR

“What you settle for is determined by your fear!” this quote was tweeted by Kimora Lee Simmons Hounsou this morning. For those of you that don’t know me, I am enraptured by all things FABULOUS and no one exemplifies FABULOUSITY more than Kimora.

As I reflected on her quote, I thought about how true the statement really is and how appropriate it was for me to see it today as I participate in the 40 DAY FEAR CLEANSE.

I think about all of the things that I’ve settled for in my life: jobs with inadequate pay, relationships that were never meant to last, friends that abused my kindness, and living a life that lacked high goals. And I think to myself today as I sadly reflect back upon those situations and I have to admit that I got exactly what I deserved because I let fear guide my choices and I settled! I wasn’t dealt a bad hand in the friends department, I have always kept a job — but I settled for far less than I deserved on more than one occasion.

Fear is a sweet talker. Fear lulls you into accepting mediocrity. Fear allows doubts to squash your dreams and visions of a better life. Fear is a two-faced false friend that fills you with doubts! It is easy for fear to do that, especially if you are feeling like I was feeling at the time. Fear was my constant companion after I was raped. My fears were so irrational that I was paralyzed. I ate the same thing I always ate, I went to the same places that I felt safe, I worked where I wasn’t challenged because I was fearful that if I did anything more than what I was doing at the time I just might fall apart.

The funny thing about FEAR is it’s arch-enemy is called FAITH! FAITH is the absence of FEAR and it is TRUSTING that the ALMIGHTY will provide or bring out that good thing within you, that will guide you past fearing your own shadow. Faith is no easy friend to have for the impatient. Let me tell you, faith is a ride or die friend and she will stay all up in your ear trying to keep you away from her nemesis called fear! Faith will sing a hopeful song, or call you just when you were about to give up. Faith will pull you out of bed when fear had pulled the covers back over your head. Faith will remind you that JESUS is a love song and she will send another friend of hers to help you out and cheer you up because she knows there are strength in numbers. FAITH won’t let you settle and live in FEAR because she knows that you have what it takes to be successful in your home, with your family, on your job and in your future! So today’s lesson is step out and hang out with FAITH. Know that she is the divine balance in the Universe that Our FATHER requires of us to get to know so that we can rise above mediocrity!

Stop settling and start receiving the gifts that fear has been blocking you from getting.

Why I write?

Today I am concentrating on shedding outside interpretations of my writing. I am a contrast of twists and fate. I am in a constant battle between good verses bad and my writing reflects that.

I write for two distinct audiences one audience loves my Puritan, common sense approach to life and all things relevant. The other audience loves my wild, adventurous, whimsical approach to life. They admire my laisse faire attitude, reckless abandon and the way I charge full speed ahead towards tomorrow.

The good girl in me kept my naughty thoughts and brash opinions hidden from public view all to myself! I was afraid of others opinions and what they would think of me after they read my unconventional work. That inner voice kept calling me, that voice began to beg me to write about my feelings and desires. There were opinions and tales that I needed to explore and address. Soon that naughty girl voice began to erupt, fester and explode! I needed to release that voice and relieve myself from the S.I.N. (the self imposed non-sense) that I was dumping upon myself.

I needed to realize that if I wasn’t writing what I believed in, whether it was good, bad, or truly ugly — I wasn’t being true to myself or using my authentic voice. So cleverly devised a plan to write/publish both sets of my writing. My good girl side is here at: The Musings and Ramblings of Sammie Love and my naughty girl comes out to play at: Sammie Loves This. This as close as I can come to a true meeting of the minds as far as my writing goes at this time. I’m just pleased to no longer be in the closet with my writing. I’m no longer living in fear about the musings, ramblings or erotic dreams in my head.

Life

FEARLESS CLEANSE — Day 2

Life

I thought when I grew up I’d have a “Happily Ever After” life. I bought the Cinderella fairytale hook, line and sinker! As an adult, I realized that kind of life is a fantasy of colossal proportions. My LIFE began when I packed that fantasy away. I was less disappointed in myself, my partners, my friends, and ultimately my husband. I was more appreciative of my own accomplishments and happier with my relationships with others. Once I accepted the fact that I was the person who made me happiest and it was no one else’s job to create my happily ever after — that’s when I began to truly LIVE my LIFE!

So here’s to happily ever after! Life is what we make it.

Fearless

What would I do if I could guarantee that I would be successful? Hmmm, that is a good question!

Well, today I am starting a 40 Day FEAR Cleanse. That’s right! It’s time to give up those old desperate self defeating thoughts that have held me back.

I can BE anything that I desire! My writing has proven that to me. I am the only person that can stop me from reaching my goals. I am realistic and reasonable so I don’t have any delusions that I will create a billion dollar corporation in 40 days, but I do know that I can systemically create a change within myself that will provide a solid
foundation of many years of wealth to come!

So today I am going to challenge not just myself but you readers as well to stop thinking of all the things that could go wrong and concentrate on just one task today that will move you forward personally or professionally and pour your heart into it! Don’t listen to the inner voices or the voices of so-called friends that keep you stuck in “I-wish-I-could-land” and listen to the inner spirit and voice of GOD that says “This is my child, with whom I am well pleased!” our desires are ours for the asking and all we are expected to do in return is work hard, be thankful and share your blessings. If Mark Zuckerberg can build Facebook then imagine what I can create. I’m older and wiser and I’m pledging to live fearlessly for the next 40 Days — join me!

Saying Yes to Me

Okay, I admit it I have a problem saying no to people. I love to help. It’s in my nature. Quite frankly, it’s in my DNA. I come from a long line of women who had a problem saying NO! Over-scheduling my life has always been the norm for me and unfortunately I have started to pass this trait on to my daughter. As we prepared her back pack this morning with her lunch, her basketball equipment for basketball camp, her hand wraps for her boxing lessons this afternoon, and a change of clothes for her baseball teams dinner tonight I stopped and told myself — this is a cycle that needs to be broken!

While it’s important to be active and to help others, I’ve decided it’s time to stop saying yes to others and it’s my time to find a balance that allows me the time to say yes to me!

So my dear friends, I’m asking for your forgiveness in advance when I say NO! I can’t make five dozen cupcakes for the Carnival at my kids school, and no I can’t possibly get my kids to an additional practice that begins at 4pm when I get off work at 6pm. Of course I want to meet the new parents at the PTA’s New Parent Orientation but I can’t attend the meeting. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to attend all of the great evening outings that my girlfriends plan and I’m dying to attend. “WHY?, ” people ask. I simply say because I AM EXHAUSTED an I need to listen to my body, and I am going to take time to nurture myself by SAYING YES TO ME!

Mending Fences — A Modern Father’s Day Tale

@2011 By Sammie Love. All Rights Reserved.

Twenty years ago as we anxiously anticipated the birth of our first-born son, we welcomed Fathers Day full of smiles. All of our hopes for the future, dreams of who our son would become and the profound love that the two of us shared were safely and warmly wrapped up in my belly. We counted the days until he would arrive. As I look back at that Father’s Day I could have never predicted the three of us would never spend a Father’s Day together. Even more unsettling than that is the fact that my son’s Dad had not spoken to us in fifteen years until very recently.

So as I sit here on this Father’s Day morn, and I find it ironic that after not speaking to the child that was loved so much from the moment of his conception, cherished from the second he was born and abandoned by the time he was two. That we (my son, his father and me) are ALL mending fences, yet this will be the first year I am calling my son’s Dad to say Happy Father’s Day. Most surprising to me I’m not just me saying the words, it’s me saying them and truly meaning them!

I have been my sons, Mother, Father, disciplinarian, and loudest cheerleader. I have worked hard and provided great male role models for him like his Papa (Grandfather), his Uncle, his Step-Father, and other male friends for him throughout his life, but at the end of the day and in spite of all my hard work I knew that my son was missing his Dad!

My son needed to connect with who he was and why he did certain things that he did. He needed to know about the other side of his family, his siblings. He needed to ask those questions that children who’d been estranged from a parent need to know and ask. He needed to know that he was wanted and loved by his Dad and his Dad was the only person that could provide those answers.

Well GOD moves in such mysterious ways and his grace and miracles never cease. He is a mover of walls, the healer of pride and the maker of humbleness. So when my now twenty year-old son informed me that HE wanted to make contact with his Dad, humbleness swept over me, my years of anger subsided, my pride dissipated and grace allowed me to write a simple email to an email address that I wasn’t even sure was still valid. The response was so quick it was mind-boggling!

It’s been a week of letters, phone calls and text messages. A week of trying to piece back together lives and trying to understand where things fell apart. Its been a week of acknowledging those people in our village that helped raise this man/child. It’s been a week of self-examination, reflection and remembering love! I’m not sure where we will all be next Father’s Day, but I hope it will be celebrated with hugs and kisses in person by these two men that are continuing to mend fences.