Song Of The Week ~ STAND by Donnie McClurkin

I wrote a post about Whitney Houston last week and I believed it would serve as my final farewell.  But one of my favorite gospel singers sang a song that was so appropriate as a farewell to Whitney Houston.

Pastor Donnie McClurkin’s lyrics truly saved me at at time in my life when I felt all hope was gone when my life was at its most difficult and all the lies I told myself to try and cope with being raped rapidly began to unravel.  Pastor Donnie McClurkin was raped at the age of eight by his uncle, his family was ravaged by domestic violence and drug abuse, but he went on to do great work to help people with healing their lives.  I found strength in these words and it reinforced what I knew in my heart but couldn’t reconcile in my head — “You just stand when there’s nothing left to do. You just stand, watch the Lord see you through.  Yes, after you done all you can, you just stand!”

Whitney Houston’s life was full of ups and downs just like everybody else’s, her down period was more notable than most but she stood and held onto her roots and her love of GOD.  There s a lesson for me in this song.  There was a lesson for her in this song.  Sometime in your life there may even be a lesson for you because after you’ve done all you can — you just STAND!

STAND ~ Lyrics

What do you do when you’ve done all you can

And it seems like it’s never enough?

And what do you say when your friends turn away

And you’re all alone, alone?

Tell me, what do you give when you’ve given your all

And it seems like you can’t make it through?
Well you just stand when there’s nothing left to do

You just stand, watch the Lord see you through

Yes, after you done all you can, you just stand
Tell me, how do you handle the guilt of your past?

Tell me, how do you deal with the shame?

And how can you smile while your heart has been broken

And filled with pain, filled with pain?

Tell me what do you give when you’ve given your all

Seems like you can’t make it through?
Child, you just stand when there’s nothing left to do

You just stand, watch the Lord see you through

Yes, after you’ve done all you can, you just stand

Stand and be sure

Be not entangled in that bondage again

You just stand, and endure

God has a purpose, yes, god has a plan!

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Song of the Week ~ Wind Beneath My Wings

By the time you read this scheduled blog. I will be sitting at my twenty-one year old “son’s” funeral. The last few days have been an emotional roller coaster to say the very least. While I am so grateful for Richard’s love and presence in my life, I have found myself angry. Bitterly angry! Angry at CANCER. Angry at lost moments. And dare I say it? Yes, I was even angry at GOD.

This week wasn’t all sad. I know GOD has been here with me carrying me through. I have stopped being mad at him and I continue to ask for his peace that transcends all of my human understanding. There was an ebb and flow to the week. It was rocky, it was joyous. I celebrated life and I celebrated death. I remembered “my baby,” @whymommy (Susan), and all of the other folks that have struggled and fought with Stage Four Cancer and I felt guilty as I remembered my miniature non-invasive battle. It was you who fought the good fight. It is both of you that will always remain my hero as you smiled and took your chemo, educated the masses about invasive cancer and always tried to make others be alright with coming to terms with your life coming to an end.

Saturday was a consistent ride on a wave of emotions. Our family woke up early to begin the difficult day and my daughter unfortunately still had painful hives on her feet, arms and torso but the first thing she said was, “This game is for Rich and my team, Mom.” My daughter’s soccer team went on to win their soccer championship. This was quite a fete because they are now undefeated for two years straight! We celebrated their success, just like we knew Rich would. He loved to win! I celebrated with my daughter and I was astounded that she managed to play in such pain. Smiling and defending the goal, helping her team to victory, just as Rich had done so many times. Yesterday he truly was the wind beneath our wings. A few hours later I found myself sitting at Cypress Lawn for his Rosary. Staring at Rich in his casket, wedding ring on his finger and his son’s favorite blanket at his side. He is at peace finally. No more pain. No more meds. No more suffering. It is those of us that know and love him that will continue to rely on the rays of sunshine that he provided in our lives.

Farewell my handsome Prince Rich ~ you are gone too soon.

Midnight Sun, Lofoten by William H. Johnson